


Absence

by Lady_Truth



Category: THE iDOLM@STER, THE iDOLM@STER: SideM
Genre: Family, Fluff, Friendship, Legs are family and you can't change my mind, M/M, Separations, SideM Valentine 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22472764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Truth/pseuds/Lady_Truth
Summary: When Chris goes overseas for the WORLD TRE@SURE 09 event, Amehiko and Sora slowly realize how much they miss his presence. (Written for VDay Challenge 2020)
Relationships: Kitamura Sora & Koron Chris, Kitamura Sora & Kuzunoha Amehiko, Koron Chris/Kuzunoha Amehiko
Kudos: 9





	Absence

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as part of the Sidem 2020 Valentine's Gift Exchange, dedicated to my good friend Navy (@KonoNavyda)! It was a fic I always had in the back of my mind since last year, but I never got around to it--thankfully, catering it for a friend is enough motivation for me! It was originally planned to be a family gen fic, but I tweaked it now to make it have romance as well. 
> 
> The title is both a reference to the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder", as well as in a literal sense of Chris's disappearance.

It was inevitable that Legenders would need to break up once more for the obligatory WORLD TRE@SURE event series. Amehiko already had a taste of it when the producer proposed the two-year plan, sending Amehiko off to France with Teru, Suzaku, and Hideo. This time, it was Chris’s turn, as he was invited for the Russian premiere—meaning that he would be out of Japan for five whole weeks.

But, the news didn’t even faze Amehiko when he heard it. At most, he simply cocked an eyebrow in interest.

To him, it meant nothing significant that would shake up their unit dynamics. Amehiko expected the long separation span was necessary for flying there, practicing, performing, autograph-signing, and sight-seeing. But, that was all it was: another event, just like any other in 315Pro, only taking more time than the norm. He had complete faith that Chris would do his job, and do his job _**damn well**_ , as usual.

Sora appeared to have shared the same feeling (but then again, Sora always knew how to hide his true feelings well). At the very least, he didn’t spot a single tear threatening to fall down his face, when they gave their last regards to Chris before his departure. In fact, he simply spoke as if it were any ordinary day, with his teasing, airy way of interaction—which it was, as Amehiko reminded himself.

Chris, in contrast, was the most emotional of them all, his mouth hardly having time to rest. For the last few days, his mouth ran a mile a minute as he packed, prepared his plans for when he got there, followed-up on last minute schedule changes, and saying his goodbyes. It wasn’t too surprising; after all, he _was_ the VIP for this event, and the prospects of going overseas to a new continent easily catered to his yearning for discovery.

Yet, despite all his excitement, Chris couldn’t contain his homesickness as well. Right before boarding the plane, he stopped for a moment, rushed back to the duo, with misty eyes. “Are you sure you’ll both be fine without me?” he asked again nervously (for the twenty-thousandth time).

“Don’t worry about us, Koron,” Amehiko calmly said back, without a hint of annoyance. “You’ve managed before, when I left; we’ll do the same, just one man short.”

“Amehiko- _san_ ’s right~” Sora said, chiming in with a wide, warm smile. “Instead of worrying, you should really be thinking about all the oceans you’ll get to see in Russia~”

“All right,” Chris murmured, lips crumbling. “In that case….”

He rushed over to the two of them and pulled them by their necks together, catching both of them off-guard. There was a slight ache when he yanked their necks together, forcing one big group-hug as he squeezed the life out of them. It almost made the scenario seem like he was drafted for war, instead of simply conducting an idol job.

“I’ll be missing you both so dearly,” Chris said. “I’ll be thinking of you during the entire trip… Please, do not hesitate to call, if you need me for whatever reason.”

“I doubt we’ll resort to that,” Amehiko said curtly. He felt compelled to finish it with something nicer, perhaps as a result of feeling suddenly warm and fuzzy inside. “But, the thought’s appreciated.”

“Have a lot of fun, Chris- _san_ ~” Sora said. “Be sure to share your discoveries with us on LINE~”

Chris beamed as he pulled away from them at last, letting them breathe again. “I will! Thank you, the two of you!”

At last, Chris gathered up the courage to abandon them, picking up his luggage and walking back to where Jiro and Kamiya (who arrived last, once Soichiro found where he was) were waiting for him. Amehiko watched as Chris constantly waved at them during the entire walk up the plane. There was a ping in his heart when Chris became out of sight completely.

He shrugged it off. It wasn’t like him to get sentimental, and it certainly was unwarranted. He had no reason to worry; he knew those weeks would fly fast and Chris would return soon, and it’ll feel like nothing ever happened.

Or so he thought, at least.

* * *

Chris's disappearance didn't really stick in during the first week. When Amehiko arrived from 315Production, he was nearly taken aback from Chris's absence, before quickly remembering what happened. It took a while before it finally sank in that he was gone. But, aside from that very brief moment of confusion, however, nothing felt different.

Well, that wasn't _entirely_ true. The most noticeable change was how much quieter it felt, without their rambling, passionate ocean-preacher beside them.

Gone were the abrupt interruptions to discuss how something ocean-related pertained to their current activity. No more did he felt his brain scrambling to discern through textbook-level of information Chris always provided. Sora didn't even need to raise his voice for Amehiko to hear him.

Amehiko usually preferred the silence. But, for some strange reason, he didn't felt as relieved as he thought he would be about the lack of ocean talk.

* * *

On the second week, Chris's absence felt more noticeable, as time stretched on. While everything mostly stayed the same, there were a few slip-ups.

At one point, Sora tried to cram school work in-between lessons. When he reached a point where he was stuck, after a lot of humming and hah-ing, he craned his neck and called out to Chris for assistance, as he always did occasionally. On any other day, Chris would jump at the call and offer whatever guidance he could provide with his expertise in college studies, as a former professor.

But just as quickly as he uttered that name, he realized his folly. His cheeks flushed, and he quickly dove his nose back into his book, before Amehiko noticed and teased him about it.

Unfortunately, Amehiko couldn't just un-hear it. "Might want to scream a little louder, Kitamura," Amehiko sneered. "I don't think Koron's going to hear you all the way from Russia."

"You're simply hearing things, Amehiko-s _an_ ~," Sora said, with a shaky laugh. "I have no idea what you’re talking about~”

"Oh, I definitely am hearing things. I've been hearing them all of life, with my line of work. But, this little ghost sounded quite like _you_."

"Are you sure you aren't being mistaken?"

"It's pretty hard finding anyone else that matches that nasally voice of yours."

“Oh, but weren’t you saying that you heard Chris- _san_ speaking just yesterday?”

That swept the smirk off his face. "What?"

"You don't recall?" He laughed, this time with more heartily. "When we were leaving the building, you suddenly called out Chris- _san_ ’s name from behind, when it was really Tsuzuki- _san_ ~”

"Ah," he murmured, suddenly growing quiet, stuffing his hands in his pockets deeper. He had forgotten all about that, indeed. "Well, that was a different story. At least I was sure that I heard his voice, before I called out his name like that. You didn’t even blink."

“It was just a force of habit~”

“Right.”

He realized that he couldn’t argue back, and dropped the subject. Unlike Sora, he couldn’t really excuse his mistake as a ‘force of habit’. What excuse he actually had… he had no idea.

* * *

By the third week, those mistakes became more common. The lack of response each time nearly baffled them; by now, they half-expected Chris to be back already.

Every so often, Amehiko had to physically approach the calendar and read off the dates. He counted the days since Chris left, and noted the huge chunk still remaining for his trip. Instead of looking at the glass half-full, he kept staring at the half-empty part, wondering when he could feel "normal" about the passage of time. Then, he would always sigh heavily before pulling away from the wall.

At first, Amehiko thought it was only on his end. But, occasionally, he would steal a glimpse at Sora and notice how much more fish he was eating, without Chris to shove it in his face. Sora didn't even _like_ fish that much; he tried to excuse eating it for its nutrients, to help him, but Amehiko knew better.

He couldn't deny his own craving for fish, the longer he stared at Sora’s meal.

* * *

The fourth week was when Amehiko finally addressed the elephant in the room.

Despite knowing how busy Chris must have been, Amehiko called him up one night. He knew that in his time zone, it would be day for him, and felt that it was the only chance he could get to speak. Amehiko grew impatient as the call dialed his number—and it struck him as odd, when it wasn’t as if he didn’t hear from Chris already.

It wasn’t as if Chris was completely ignoring them. Now and then, he would send a message via LINE, or share pictures of his trip. When Amehiko saw the photo of the matryoshka Chris carved and painted to resemble him and Sora, he couldn’t deny the biggest smile on his face.

But, it didn't felt the same as actually hearing him. So, though it was incredibly late at night, he stayed up to speak with him.

Thankfully, it connected eventually, before Amehiko was about to hang up regretfully. "Amehiko?" he heard Chris gasp on the line.

He nearly sighed with relief. "Koron."

"Oh, it’s good to hear from you again! Is everything all right?"

"Yep, we're managing just fine. I just….”

His words trailed off. What _was_ the reason he called? Normally, he would just admit to wanting to hear his voice as a sleep aid, but it didn't felt appropriate at this time of day, nor accurate to say. And, any other meaning would just end up sounding unintentionally creepy.

So, he played it off. Instead of saying his feelings… he would just use Sora’s to cover over them. “I just figured to give Kitamura some peace of mind,” he resumed, feigning confidence. “He’s been constantly asking me how you’re doing.”

“He has?”

“Yeah. Kept worrying if you were jumping into freezing waters and getting a cold. So, I just wanted to check with you, if that was the case. You seem fine, I assume.”

“Oh, yes,” he laughed in that light, soft way Amehiko always enjoyed, “I have been taking care of myself here. As tempting as it is to explore the oceans here, Producer- _san_ wants me to be at my best health for the event. Instead, I have substituted it for reading up on marine life here, and watching the waterworks. There is no reason to worry."

"Ah, I see. Well, good to know that you’re doing okay. Maybe now Kitamura can stop groaning to me about you.”

“I didn’t realize Sora missed me that much… He was fine when I spoke with him earlier.”

“You’d be surprised. You know how he doesn't like to show his true colors with people." He chuckled. "But, you should have seen him bringing over fish dinners every Friday."

"Really? That warms my heart just thinking about it! I'm so glad he is finally seeing the wonders of eating ocean life!"

Amehiko resisted chuckling on the line. Chris didn't get the implications in the slightest. But, rather than embarrass Sora some more by admitting how much he missed him, he kept his thoughts to himself.

"It's good to know that you both are appreciating the ocean more, in my stead!"

He paused. "Both?"

"Yes," Chris said, without a hint of shame. "I was just speaking with Sora earlier, and he's mentioned how fixated you've been at observing any nearby waters. You even started singing my solo song! I really wished I could have seen it!"

 _Damn it, Kitamura_ , Amehiko cursed in his thoughts. It seemed Sora was already one step ahead of him, and predicted that Amehiko would throw him under the bus; so, instead, he opted to strike first, by admitting Amehiko's feelings to cover over his own.

Caught with his pants down, he swallowed before continuing, awkwardly, "Well... I just felt like taking the scenic route more recently. It's starting to get warm over here... Nice breathtaking views when it's sunset."

"Oh, I see." (Thankfully Chris sounded convinced by that piss-poor excuse.) "That's very sweet of you, Amehiko! I hope, when I return, we could appreciate it more, together!"

"Together...?"

For some strange reason, that word struck a cord with him. Together... It made his heart stir hearing it.

Why, he had no clue. They were already unitmates, so "together" shouldn't feel so foreign to him. But that was matters of work, on the business side. The idea of sharing time with Chris, more personally... It felt surprisingly good, and different.

"Sure," he said, lips curling, "Why not."

"I'm so happy to hear! Thankfully, I have so much to share with you upon my return. I am looking forward to it!"

He laughed again, though it felt more forced. "I look forward to it as well." 

_'Because I miss you,_ ' he wanted to say, deep, deep down.

* * *

At last, the final week of Chris's break arrived. Yet, it felt like the most grueling time of Amehiko's life. Hours felt like days, and each talk with Sora took more energy than the last time. He just wanted it to be over soon.

After practice, Amehiko and Sora were resting in their dressing room, waiting for the next rehearsal. Amehiko had his back against the wall, and crossed his arms, shutting his eyes. He was lost in his thoughts, yet again, unable to form a proper conversation anymore.

"It sure has been quiet nowadays, huh~" Sora said with a smile, breaking Amehiko out of his reverie. "Such a strange sensation~"

"Yeah," he murmured. 

"I never realized how talkative we were when Chris- _san_ was around~ He certainly brings the energy to our group, huh~"

He was right.

Thinking it over, Amehiko looked back and noticed how closer their unit began with Chris. While both he and Sora struggled to communicate their earnest feelings, Chris was much more vocal, and always pushing them to hang out, and bond, together. Chris usually was participating in conversation, to make it more lively. Chris was the most open with his internal troubles, and encouraged them to do the same.

Legenders really wasn't the same without him.

"... Yeah," was all he had to input.

"When Chris- _san_ gets back, I think it would be good to show our appreciation for him more openly~"

Amehiko smirked, opening a bottle of water and drinking it. "So, you'll finally be telling him how much you've missed him?"

"Sure. But only if Amehiko- _san_ admits that he loves him~"

Amehiko nearly choked on his drink. Some of it spilled to the floor. 

"What's wrong?" Sora said, tilting his head inquisitively. "Was it something I said~?"

"I... Why...." It hurt to speak, with the water going up the wrong pipe. He coughed before continuing. "What do you mean by 'love'?"

"Eh? Isn't it obvious that you love Chris- _san_?"

"When the hell did you ever get _that_ idea?"

"You mean, it's not true?"

"Yes." He stopped himself. That came out wrong. "No. I mean... I care for him a lot. That's all."

"More than most people, it seems~ Out of everyone, you seem the most different when he's not around~"

"How so?"

"Hmm~ Where do I start~" He took a dramatic pause, before spilling it out, at once, "You've been sighing so much lately. You're more shut off again, when he isn't around. You seem always distracted by things that remind you of him. You even said it out loud, in your sleep~"

" _What?"_ he spat, trying to process through all that.

"Just kidding on the last one!" Sora chuckled lightly. "It did sound pretty plausible, at least~"

Amehiko made a _'tch'_. He wanted to bite back with a snarky comment, but his mind could barely think of anything. Instead, his thoughts were still fixated on what Sora just said.

Because, he just couldn't deny it also. At least, without looking like a fool in the process. It was so spot-on that he was nearly speechless.

It sounded so cliché, and it sounded so corny. It didn't felt like him. But perhaps that was the explanation for all the oddities Sora described. It would explain his over-eagerness for Chris's return, or that weird, sappy feeling in his gut thinking about his smiles. _Love._

Still, it was too early to even call it that—he wondered if he would even still feel this way once Chris was back, or if he simply felt this strongly due to his absence. He also had no clue if his feelings were reciprocated. Rather than quickly act on the hunch of a nineteen year-old, he ultimately decided to keep his silence, and wait it out longer.

Unable to retort, Amehiko silently returned to his water bottle, and gulped the rest of it down. He let the rush of water fill in the deafening silence, to ease the awkward tension now. 

* * *

The day of Chris's return finally came, with little fanfare. Their plane would return to Japan so early in the morning (5 A.M.) that the other idols couldn't make it to greet them. By the time the sun rose, they would just quietly simulate back to their everyday lives, as if they never left in the first place.

Amehiko and Sora felt differently, as did S.E.M. and Cafe Parade. Though they were sleep-deprived, zoned-out, and not morning-people in the slightest, they headed to the airport as soon as they got the notice of their arrival. Amehiko gave Sora a ride via his van, and Sora had pre-prepared a welcome banner in the interim.

They scanned the airport relentlessly, hoping to pick up any trace of Chris. Every so often, they caught their eyes on something blond, get excited, then get disappointed immediately when they realized that the person lacked any other notable characteristics of Chris. This process repeated almost five times already. 

The wait was killing Amehiko. It was only a few minutes, yet it felt like hours. He tried not to display his concerns, but couldn't resist the urge to constantly re-adjust his posture. He tried to ignore the thundering of his heart and kept a cool head, despite feeling the opposite.

His torture came to an end when he suddenly heard someone call out from behind: "Amehiko! Sora!"

Startled, and recognizing that voice, they both turned around quickly. Amehiko felt a wave of relief when he saw him.

Standing right in front of them was Chris, pulling an absurd amount of luggage—nearly doubled than what he had, before he left. His skin was tanned slightly, and he was wearing more layers than needed with Japan's current weather. He appeared to be panting, as if he had spent an eternity looking for them, just as much as they did.

Sora was also so caught up with seeing Chris again, and nearly forgot his role in their welcoming party. Remembering that, he scrambled to unveil his banner. He held it up high (with Amehiko assisting, to make up for his short height), and cheered. "Welcome back, Chris- _san_ ~"

"Thank you!" Chris said, beaming. "I'm so terribly sorry for my tardiness. Kamiya- _san_ was a little lost getting his luggage, so we assisted him, and Yamashita- _san_ requested some coffee, and—"

"No need to explain yourself," Amehiko cut in, smirking. "You being here now is all that matters."

"Don't worry about it, Chris- _san_ ~ We're just happy that you're back~"

Somehow, that short sentence moved Chris to near tears. Without delay, he abandoned his his luggage. He rushed toward them, and threw his arms over necks, repeating the hug from the last time. "I'm so happy to be back. I've missed you so much and have so much I've been dying to share with you!"

Sora and Amehiko were speechless. But, just as soon as the shock wore over, they returned the affection, smiling as well. 

"Welcome home," Amehiko murmured in a near whisper, pulling Chris tighter. 

His feelings didn't wane upon his return. In fact, it felt even stronger than before. 


End file.
